Just Plain Scary

I think I’d better write for a bit, at least until the adrenalin high I’ve been on all day subsides some or I’ll never get to sleep. Jay Leno just came on and I’d like to relax and listen to his monologue but I wouldn’t be able to stay in the chair long enough. I’m always glad to feel a little charged but this is ridiculous!

I haven’t posted since the 11th. It is now the 16th and I can honestly say there was only one day when I could have and that was Sunday, the 13th. It was my birthday and Mom had a problem we had been working on solving since the day before, so I decided to take the day to give her the attention she needed and deserved, and to give myself the gift of not thinking, even one time, that I should be posting, or I should be loading products on the aStore pages, or I should be cleaning out the fridge, or that I should…to heck with it. I shouldn’t do one darn thing that I didn’t want to do. So there. It was wonderful, but Monday followed Sunday and my day of bliss was soon erased from my mind. Back to reality. Well, at least I had that one day.

I’m going to write a tiny bit off what’s run helter skelter through my mind today, and the only way to do that is to just write the thoughts, many of which I said out loud and some that I kept to myself, and without trying to put them into paragraph form. There’s no way I could write cohesive paragraphs without losing the mental chaos, the confusion, the humor of it all. This may be hard for you to follow, but my mind is hard to follow sometime, so here goes, starting from shortly after the aide arrived:

· She’s still sleeping soundly this morning and will be a little slow waking up.
· You’d better let her wake up on her own because if you don’t, she’ll be mad and
  agitated and that will set the tone for the day. Remember?
· Her stomach looks distended so she probably has gas. What do you say you pull her
  up and turn her on her side for a moment and give her a chance to pass it before you do her face and mouth care. Remember?  
· It’s 9:05 and the doctor’s office is open so I’m going to call them and see why no one's come to draw Mom’s blood that was ordered last Friday.
· Quincy (the cat), crying won’t help because you already had your breakfast!
· Why is that toilet still running?
· Did you take her vitals so we know what they are before I give her the BP med?
· Wow, that’s sounds a little high. That wrist monitor gives wacky readings if you don’t hold it directly across from her heart. Remember?
· When you change her, I’d like to look at the little red place on her bottom and then we’ll decide how to treat it. Okay? Whoa! You never lay her flat before putting the feeding pump on hold and clamping the tube. She could aspirate. Remember?
· Let’s see, I’ve washed the dishes, straightened up the kitchen, ate my toast and she’s still in the middle of the pants change. Mom’s getting a little too mad.
· Let’s put a dab of zinc oxide directly on the red spot, and then spread the barrier cream on her bottom. Don’t forget to not rub it completely in so it will protect her skin better. Remember?
· It might be a good idea to put the foot of her bed down now that you’ve got her pulled up, then straighten out her clothes. She can aspirate from the stomach up as well as the throat down. Remember?
· I’ll alcohol her table so I can use it to give her the Seroquel real quick. Okay?
· Man, I’ve got to get to started putting products on the aStore pages.
· Darn, I only have about one glass of Diet Coke left. Now I’ll have to run to the store.
· There’s another important part of pulling her up in bed. Once you do, you have to adjust her hips by gently pulling the pad to the right so her spine is nice and straight and she’s not lying crooked. If you leave her like that, she’ll start aching all over and then she’ll fuss. Remember?
· You want to make sure the bed pad is nice and straight under her because if it’s in wrinkles or rolls, it can cause pressure points that can lead to bed sores. Remember?
· No, Quincy. It’s too early for lunch.
· Her lips and mouth look dry. Maybe you should freshen her mouth and put a little Vaseline on her lips, don't you think?
· Dear, I can’t afford to donate to your cause because, in all honesty, I’m broke. Could you please take me off your call list?
· Are you sure it’s time to renew the dishwasher warranty? I’ll have to call you back.
· Did you remember to turn her and put a pillow behind her back?
· Now how the heck did I add a new category page to this aStore. Short memory.
· Good God! How many products does Amazon have for me to choose from in this category?! You gotta be kidding! Three thousand what?!
· Oops. It’s time to flush the feeding tube.
· No BM today and I know there’s more. Have to work in another dose of milk of magnesia. Bless her heart.
· If I look at one more nightgown choice I’m going to scream. But I’ve got to make headway on these pages!
· This water is running too slowly down this tube. Guess I’d better do 30ccs of Coke to clear it out.
· Why does she breathe from her stomach like that? I know I read that’s really the right way to breathe but it’s still scary to watch.
· This computer chair is killing me! I’ll be crippled. Let’s see, I’ll put a pillow in the seat and one behind my back. Now what can I use for a footrest? Maybe that would help.
· What the heck time is it? I haven’t heard back from the doctor’s office and she said she’d call me back shortly. The day’s almost gone and no call.
· Damn, it’s thundering and I don’t have any Coke!
· Quincy, is it really time to eat again or do you have a tapeworm?
· Oh, my God, another new category. I’m not even gonna look at how many products there are in this one.
· Hello. This is Sharon Clayton. Did you even find out when they’re coming to draw blood? Oh, you left them a message to call you and you haven’t heard back from them. And you forgot. Well, would you call them again and get back to me? Thanks.
· Good Lord, my legs are numb from sitting in this chair. I like to shop but somehow this isn’t the same. Amazon’s too big.
· Oops, time for afternoon Seroquel.
· It can be boring when she sleeps. There are lots of magazines that I’ve saved so help yourself.
· You’re okay, Mom. I’m sitting right here watching you so don’t be afraid.
· Hello. Oh, so what other service are you going to call and how soon can they come? Heck, she’s 90 and not eating anything by mouth and I’m worried. By the way, mobile r-ray was here Saturday morning and you would have had those results on Monday. Could you find the reports and read them to me? Yes, I do have their phone number. And you’ll call me back?
· Would you really run over to the store for me? Thanks for offering and that will get you a breath of fresh air, so good thinking. Would you get me a fried chicken breast as well? Thanks. I’ll listen for Mom while you’re gone.
· Hello? The chest x-ray is fine and the stomach report says she’s a little impacted. I figured that out already and we’re working on it. Okay, so if we need another x-ray, can we wait till day after tomorrow because she’s been going a lot until today and that will give me a chance to give her a little more milk of magnesia. I hope another day will do it and then maybe they won’t have to come back again a third time. Thanks.
· Hello? No, not chicken tenders. A fried chicken breast. You want me to tell the deli guy? Okay, put him on.
· How many more darn more categories do I have to go? Ohhhhhh.
· You just have a little tummy discomfort, Mom. Let me turn you up on your side and hold you there for a minute or two. You’re okay.
· Why is the pad up behind your back instead of under you fanny?
· I’m sorry, Quincy. I can’t stop and hold you now. I have to keep working on this aStore, so please quit pawing at my leg and looking at me like that. You’re making me feel guilty.
· Oops, time to flush the feeding tube.
· Is it time for you to leave? Did you remember to empty her wastebasket today? Did you take her vitals?
· Yea!! I’m done with that category! Get up and walk away from it for a minute. Oh, Lord, I’m hobbling here. Get the Advil.
· I’m eating my darn chicken before it’s time for the next round of meds and a pants change!
· Maybe I’ve made a bad choice for this new category. There are only 175 products. They must have them hidden somewhere else. 175. That’s impossible. This is Amazon.
· You’re okay, Mom. I’m right here.
· Gee, when did I last change the air conditioner filter? And what about this category made me think of a filter? Scary. If I go look, it’ll give me a chance to stand up and walk. Ohhhhhh. It’s been that long? No wonder I’m sneezing.
· There. Pants are changed, clothes are straight, hair’s smoothed back away from her face, oxygen tube’s in place, mouth's freshened and Vaseline’s on her lips, and her sheets are nice and straight just the way she likes them.
· Not yet, Quincy, not yet. But soon. You want a treat?
· Oh, my aching body.
· One good dose of milk of mag and another flush. Sleep tight, Mom. I love you…and I’m trying.

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Phew.
Come on, Quincy. It’s time.

Until our next time,
Sharon